Image

It's upsetting to see how many people believe they're inadequate compared to the beauty magazines... I'm not sure who they're comparing to, as it is all make believe and fantasy. A click of a few buttons, adjustment of lighting... Et viola, they have created what they believe is 'perfect'. It is far from perfect... They have achieved a skeletal unrealistic look... What has happened to being who you are and the individual body image? Technology now is a device to generate models into copy cats of the next. To think there are naive young girls aspiring to fake figures, it is truly unbelievable...

Growing up too fast!

Recently, I have turned seventeen and inside I remain to feel like the vulnerable, shy, quiet little girl who began in Year 9... Who's mind would constantly ponder at the thought of where my next class would be in order to prevent getting lost and turning up late to lessons. My mind is still in the mindset of who I was 4 years ago... Perhaps it is because I dislike the thought of growing up: accepting all responsibility, leaving Upper School and my family and friends to hopefully attend a good University. Leaving everything which was once a comfort to me - all things familiar. However ludicrous this may sound... I wish this world could stop or rewind, just to relive moments when life was easier and had no worries, where colouring in would be my idea of novelty. Now, my idea of novelty is being free from the strains and stresses of sixth form, whether it is listening to music, listening to a friend or family member, or perhaps the sound of peace. I honestly never want to grow up... Life is too fast, yet too short. In a way, I am curious for the future: who I'll be, who I will meet in terms of friends and perhaps a boyfriend or husband. Whether I'll be in a career I'll love, whether I'll live somewhere I'll feel safe, and whether everything in education has paid of. I shall soon find out... Adulthood is quickly approaching...

Choices...

Yesterday along with Year 12 I attended the University Fair, which had stalls of Universities promoting their courses, facilities etcetera. They gave away prospectuses along with pens, bags and leaflets. It was quite daunting being in a position where the largest choice of my life I believe is rapidly approaching and I can't divert from it. It will come, whether I'm prepared or not. The choice of choosing a degree... Options in the degree... The Unicersity... Tenancy... Ultimately my career path. A path which determines my future satisfaction and feeling that I have done my absolute best... This is what I desire most. I am passionate about studying English Literature, as ever since the beginning of Year 10 I have loved English whether it is reading, researching and critically analysing a text. I enjoy exploring the meaning behind texts and most of all giving my own literary interpretation. What I wish and hope for the most is that I do well in all my alevels so I can consider a diverse range of good universities which I have the hope of developing my love for English in. At the moment, doing well in my alevels seems impossible, well, I believe it is due to how hard my alevels have proved to be: English Literature, Law, History and Philosophy and Ethics. Good luck to everybody who is going to University this year, and to all those who like me are considering various universities and getting prepared for the AS exams!

The world…

It seems to be that the world is materialistic rather than looking beneath the surface and viewing what really matters. The physical appearance of the world reflects the people in it and the attitudes of most… The protruding skyscrapers from what had once been a peaceful, unmaterialistic settlement. Perhaps the radical development in technology has had a profound impact, if it has, then I wouldn’t like to view the world in many years to come. It seems that things which were once viewed as ‘ordinary’ have become ‘extraordinary’… Flashing neon lights, metal birds as planes and buildings which look distorted.

It seems to be that people are careless when it comes to their own satisfaction, they’d prefer to aspire to careers which pay the ‘most’ when their happiness has to pay the price. To me, it is pure greediness when individuals aim for a career which they have absolutely no interest in at all, the only interest they’ll be gaining is in the bank. The mansion, the garage door key revealing sports cars, the false expression and thought in their mind that they’ve reached their goal. None of this is true happiness, it is their way of fitting in with the money endorsing world around us.

Unfortunately, this world has evolved into an artificial realm where people struggle to find their place, where being overweight isn’t ‘normal’, where small houses won’t do, where speaking incorrectly means you’re not good enough, where grades class your intelligence. It’s tedious and unfair… This world wasn’t created for a materialistic development: it’s for individuality and room for development in a unmaterialistic way. People shouldn’t have to change their ways to ‘fit in’, people should be a weight in which they feel comfortable in, big houses leave empty spaces, speech is how we express ourselves and grades reflect our worry in exams… Will anything ever catch up with our growing world?

My hope…

It feels as though it was only a day ago when I wrote a blog post about starting Sixth Form and the worries I’d have to face. Now, however, the worries have become a reality, a reality which I never thought would approach so quickly. It’s literally a month before the AS exams: the exams which will determine what university I’ll aim for, as we have to apparently write our personal statements this year. If I don’t achieve good grades in AS I am limiting myself when it comes to choosing universities… Most good universities now have entry requirements of AAA or AAB. Due to how hard my A levels are, I doubt highly I’ll achieve such grades in A2.

I have been revising Philosophy today… Deep down, I know I know the information, however I feel as though I can’t retrieve the information… But it must be somewhere. Hopefully, when it comes to the actual exams, my adrenaline will kick in.

My hope, more than anything right now, is that I do well in my AS exams. People always say ‘you can only do your best’, ‘try your best’, ‘your best is all they can ask for’, however to me, when it comes down to universities they have entry requirements which must be met. They are hardly flexible, therefore I feel obliged to do more than my best. I just hope it’s good enough.

Good luck to all those doing their A level exams this year, whether ASs or A2s, and to all those who are going to University! You will all do great, keep believing!

Stop Kony 2012

Yesterday I watched a video which has been shared over Facebook and Twitter. I was curious to see why this video was being spread around, and how it has any relevance to social networking sites... I was surprised to view the content about a man called Joseph Kony. I am reluctant to even use the word 'man', as he's an inhumane, evil and malevolent person. It was shocking to see the actions he was performing on innocent children: using them as 'child soldiers' by training them to impose attacks on others. In my opinion, he does this all because of one reason... unmitigated evilness.

I was inspired by this video, as it shows the togetherness in the world, and the power in which we can have. A thing which is very uncommon in a difficult modern world as ours now is. A campaign called 'Kony 2012' has been launched to stop the crimes Kony is committing against innocent children, and children who deserve to be heard and stand up for themselves. I couldn't imagine, and I don't think anyone truly can, the feelings of his victims... I can't even imagine how a member of humanity could be so cynical and illicit in their activity.

We need to STOP Kony this year and set a precedent for international justice!

This is the video below... Please watch it, and make these 'invisible children' visible, as Kony will be stopped one day, and I hope this year, this day can be reported. To enable all these children affected, all their families and the whole world can realise that through love and support, evil can come to an end, and justice can be done.

I haven't quite kept up with my diary...

As I said in my previous post: New Year's resolutions/aims.

I premeditated that perhaps I wouldn't stick to some of my goals this year, and keeping up with writing a diary is one of them. I think perhaps diaries are for recording when something has upset you, or made you happy - expressing emotions etcetera, rather than a day to day recount. Hopefully, I'll use the diary more effectively soon, however, nothing has happened that has dramatically changed my feelings...

Another year of aspirations: 2012

I have been inspired by Laura to write a list of what I’d like to do/achieve this year, as last year I thought of aspirations in my mind, rather than write them down. I suppose it would be nice to have thoughts written down, almost perhaps, like a check list. In 2012 I’d like to…

• Concentrate and try my absolute best in Sixth form, so I can do well in my AS levels, and hopefully have a good start to A2
• Continue to support all those who I care about: my family and friends
• Try not to argue with my Sister and Brother
• Learn to drive
• Keep my room tidy
• Be healthier: cut down on food which is seen as bad, and do more exercise
• Prevent myself getting in silly arguments, and to stop getting involved in others problems and try and concentrate on my own
• Read many books (especially for English)
• Decide what I want to do in University, and hopefully get the grade requirements
• Stop spending money on things I don’t need
• Paint or draw a picture I am happy with
• Stop wasting time on Facebook
• Reach a balance between socialising and school work time
• Go to London Dungeons
• To stick to writing my diary. I’ve just brought my own diary to write in everyday about my feelings and obviously happenings day-by-day… This year I’d love to write in it everyday, I just hope I do, as in the future it will be nice to look back at what I’ve done

There are so many more, however I can’t think of them all at the moment, if I do, I shall update this blog post, but for know this is about it.
Happy New Year to you all, and if you have aspirations and things you want to do/achieve, I hope you do, as I know it’s a great feeling to reach a goal!

Don't let outside confidence deceive you.

I am not so sure if I've already wrote a blog on this subject, however, once again, I feel the need to discuss, this I'd like to do through writing. As I have mentioned I am now in Sixth Form, possibly the hardest period of my life I have endured, and perhaps the hardest I will ever have to endure. I believe it to be quite unfair that the most important, or one of the most important stages in my life seems to be so unenjoyable and difficult. Yes I realise that it should be hard, as life in general has its challenges... However, despite this, I wish it was uplifiting. At the moment, I feel my confidence has stooped to literally nothing, whilst my passion to do well is increasing. Even though this is the case, my motivation is being effected by my confidence, as I suppose it would anyones. How can I possibly motivate myself if I feel the result won't be the aim I was hoping for. I feel results in my work will balance on the wrong side, leaving me struggling. I hate being this negative, but once again, my confidence is a issue which I must learn to ignore. Deep down I know I can do it, looking back at my confidence in GCSE and the results overriding it, I know I can beat my expectations. Many of my peers have said to me, including teachers, "you're doing absolutely fine, don't worry yourself... Take a break from it all" talking about my work. However I don't know what they're basing their comment on, perhaps that is their perception of my results in GCSE, and somehow, they believe A Level will be fine for me. Perhaps not 'fine' but manageable. It's really not manageable with the slightest stretch of the imagination, it is certainly the contrary.

Christmas

Once again, Christmas has come and gone... Perhaps too quickly? Christmas this year I found to be very special... I felt fortunate, as I do every year; however this year felt some what different, perhaps because of my age, or rather the decreased excitement, the way eyes would widen at the sight of twinkling lights on a green tree, and little snowflakes coating decorations? I am not disputing my admiration for Christmas - in fact it's my favourite season due to all the wonderful, decorative festivities, instead I felt different about it, in a more appreciative and understanding way. This year I felt more grateful (not that I didn't any other year) and appreciative as I said, as for once, I understood the difficulty of money and how others may not be as fortunate as I, whereas before I felt grateful but in a less sentimental way, as when I was younger I wasn't aware of other issues surrounding Christmas. Not just in this way, but as my previous blog stated earlier this year I believe (not sure whether I posted a blog), my Granddad was severely ill in hospital due to an industrial incident in work, and due to the seriousness of his injuries he was unlikely to pull through, however being the brave, powerful man we all know him to be, he did. That is why this year, Christmas was very special. Every time I saw his face light up whilst we received our presents, I couldn't help but smile at his handsome face, he has never looked so vibrant. My Granddad being here was the best Christmas present of all; we as such a loving close family, couldn't bare to lose him, thus this is why I believe, he pulled through for us, to see us all grow up into successful individuals, and of course to look after my wonderful Nan. My Christmas was memorable, and it made 2011 seem a lot brighter, as this year for me hasn't been my best, especially due to my Granddad's accident... Most people I have spoken to seem to have the same attitude towards this year. Everyone, this leaves me now to say, have a wonderful New Year, may 2012 for you be prosperous and enlightening.