The world…

It seems to be that the world is materialistic rather than looking beneath the surface and viewing what really matters. The physical appearance of the world reflects the people in it and the attitudes of most… The protruding skyscrapers from what had once been a peaceful, unmaterialistic settlement. Perhaps the radical development in technology has had a profound impact, if it has, then I wouldn’t like to view the world in many years to come. It seems that things which were once viewed as ‘ordinary’ have become ‘extraordinary’… Flashing neon lights, metal birds as planes and buildings which look distorted.

It seems to be that people are careless when it comes to their own satisfaction, they’d prefer to aspire to careers which pay the ‘most’ when their happiness has to pay the price. To me, it is pure greediness when individuals aim for a career which they have absolutely no interest in at all, the only interest they’ll be gaining is in the bank. The mansion, the garage door key revealing sports cars, the false expression and thought in their mind that they’ve reached their goal. None of this is true happiness, it is their way of fitting in with the money endorsing world around us.

Unfortunately, this world has evolved into an artificial realm where people struggle to find their place, where being overweight isn’t ‘normal’, where small houses won’t do, where speaking incorrectly means you’re not good enough, where grades class your intelligence. It’s tedious and unfair… This world wasn’t created for a materialistic development: it’s for individuality and room for development in a unmaterialistic way. People shouldn’t have to change their ways to ‘fit in’, people should be a weight in which they feel comfortable in, big houses leave empty spaces, speech is how we express ourselves and grades reflect our worry in exams… Will anything ever catch up with our growing world?

My hope…

It feels as though it was only a day ago when I wrote a blog post about starting Sixth Form and the worries I’d have to face. Now, however, the worries have become a reality, a reality which I never thought would approach so quickly. It’s literally a month before the AS exams: the exams which will determine what university I’ll aim for, as we have to apparently write our personal statements this year. If I don’t achieve good grades in AS I am limiting myself when it comes to choosing universities… Most good universities now have entry requirements of AAA or AAB. Due to how hard my A levels are, I doubt highly I’ll achieve such grades in A2.

I have been revising Philosophy today… Deep down, I know I know the information, however I feel as though I can’t retrieve the information… But it must be somewhere. Hopefully, when it comes to the actual exams, my adrenaline will kick in.

My hope, more than anything right now, is that I do well in my AS exams. People always say ‘you can only do your best’, ‘try your best’, ‘your best is all they can ask for’, however to me, when it comes down to universities they have entry requirements which must be met. They are hardly flexible, therefore I feel obliged to do more than my best. I just hope it’s good enough.

Good luck to all those doing their A level exams this year, whether ASs or A2s, and to all those who are going to University! You will all do great, keep believing!

Stop Kony 2012

Yesterday I watched a video which has been shared over Facebook and Twitter. I was curious to see why this video was being spread around, and how it has any relevance to social networking sites... I was surprised to view the content about a man called Joseph Kony. I am reluctant to even use the word 'man', as he's an inhumane, evil and malevolent person. It was shocking to see the actions he was performing on innocent children: using them as 'child soldiers' by training them to impose attacks on others. In my opinion, he does this all because of one reason... unmitigated evilness.

I was inspired by this video, as it shows the togetherness in the world, and the power in which we can have. A thing which is very uncommon in a difficult modern world as ours now is. A campaign called 'Kony 2012' has been launched to stop the crimes Kony is committing against innocent children, and children who deserve to be heard and stand up for themselves. I couldn't imagine, and I don't think anyone truly can, the feelings of his victims... I can't even imagine how a member of humanity could be so cynical and illicit in their activity.

We need to STOP Kony this year and set a precedent for international justice!

This is the video below... Please watch it, and make these 'invisible children' visible, as Kony will be stopped one day, and I hope this year, this day can be reported. To enable all these children affected, all their families and the whole world can realise that through love and support, evil can come to an end, and justice can be done.

I haven't quite kept up with my diary...

As I said in my previous post: New Year's resolutions/aims.

I premeditated that perhaps I wouldn't stick to some of my goals this year, and keeping up with writing a diary is one of them. I think perhaps diaries are for recording when something has upset you, or made you happy - expressing emotions etcetera, rather than a day to day recount. Hopefully, I'll use the diary more effectively soon, however, nothing has happened that has dramatically changed my feelings...

Another year of aspirations: 2012

I have been inspired by Laura to write a list of what I’d like to do/achieve this year, as last year I thought of aspirations in my mind, rather than write them down. I suppose it would be nice to have thoughts written down, almost perhaps, like a check list. In 2012 I’d like to…

• Concentrate and try my absolute best in Sixth form, so I can do well in my AS levels, and hopefully have a good start to A2
• Continue to support all those who I care about: my family and friends
• Try not to argue with my Sister and Brother
• Learn to drive
• Keep my room tidy
• Be healthier: cut down on food which is seen as bad, and do more exercise
• Prevent myself getting in silly arguments, and to stop getting involved in others problems and try and concentrate on my own
• Read many books (especially for English)
• Decide what I want to do in University, and hopefully get the grade requirements
• Stop spending money on things I don’t need
• Paint or draw a picture I am happy with
• Stop wasting time on Facebook
• Reach a balance between socialising and school work time
• Go to London Dungeons
• To stick to writing my diary. I’ve just brought my own diary to write in everyday about my feelings and obviously happenings day-by-day… This year I’d love to write in it everyday, I just hope I do, as in the future it will be nice to look back at what I’ve done

There are so many more, however I can’t think of them all at the moment, if I do, I shall update this blog post, but for know this is about it.
Happy New Year to you all, and if you have aspirations and things you want to do/achieve, I hope you do, as I know it’s a great feeling to reach a goal!

Don't let outside confidence deceive you.

I am not so sure if I've already wrote a blog on this subject, however, once again, I feel the need to discuss, this I'd like to do through writing. As I have mentioned I am now in Sixth Form, possibly the hardest period of my life I have endured, and perhaps the hardest I will ever have to endure. I believe it to be quite unfair that the most important, or one of the most important stages in my life seems to be so unenjoyable and difficult. Yes I realise that it should be hard, as life in general has its challenges... However, despite this, I wish it was uplifiting. At the moment, I feel my confidence has stooped to literally nothing, whilst my passion to do well is increasing. Even though this is the case, my motivation is being effected by my confidence, as I suppose it would anyones. How can I possibly motivate myself if I feel the result won't be the aim I was hoping for. I feel results in my work will balance on the wrong side, leaving me struggling. I hate being this negative, but once again, my confidence is a issue which I must learn to ignore. Deep down I know I can do it, looking back at my confidence in GCSE and the results overriding it, I know I can beat my expectations. Many of my peers have said to me, including teachers, "you're doing absolutely fine, don't worry yourself... Take a break from it all" talking about my work. However I don't know what they're basing their comment on, perhaps that is their perception of my results in GCSE, and somehow, they believe A Level will be fine for me. Perhaps not 'fine' but manageable. It's really not manageable with the slightest stretch of the imagination, it is certainly the contrary.

Christmas

Once again, Christmas has come and gone... Perhaps too quickly? Christmas this year I found to be very special... I felt fortunate, as I do every year; however this year felt some what different, perhaps because of my age, or rather the decreased excitement, the way eyes would widen at the sight of twinkling lights on a green tree, and little snowflakes coating decorations? I am not disputing my admiration for Christmas - in fact it's my favourite season due to all the wonderful, decorative festivities, instead I felt different about it, in a more appreciative and understanding way. This year I felt more grateful (not that I didn't any other year) and appreciative as I said, as for once, I understood the difficulty of money and how others may not be as fortunate as I, whereas before I felt grateful but in a less sentimental way, as when I was younger I wasn't aware of other issues surrounding Christmas. Not just in this way, but as my previous blog stated earlier this year I believe (not sure whether I posted a blog), my Granddad was severely ill in hospital due to an industrial incident in work, and due to the seriousness of his injuries he was unlikely to pull through, however being the brave, powerful man we all know him to be, he did. That is why this year, Christmas was very special. Every time I saw his face light up whilst we received our presents, I couldn't help but smile at his handsome face, he has never looked so vibrant. My Granddad being here was the best Christmas present of all; we as such a loving close family, couldn't bare to lose him, thus this is why I believe, he pulled through for us, to see us all grow up into successful individuals, and of course to look after my wonderful Nan. My Christmas was memorable, and it made 2011 seem a lot brighter, as this year for me hasn't been my best, especially due to my Granddad's accident... Most people I have spoken to seem to have the same attitude towards this year. Everyone, this leaves me now to say, have a wonderful New Year, may 2012 for you be prosperous and enlightening.

My own quotations

Recently I have wrote in my journal quotations which have inspired me, along with these I have created my own quotations, which I shall list.

“Each step is inadequate until you reach the next”

“Your mind will always be free, as you possess it. No one can affect your thoughts, they’re protected in ways which are true to yourself”

“Love is never an answer, but a beginning”

“Difficulties in the present are short-lived, the outcome is your life”

“When you say people have changed, so have your thoughts”

“Tears are an attempt to wash away your emotions, as we are often afraid to show them”

“One comment can make your day, however a memory can last a lifetime”

“Friends are not objects: they’re scattered polaroids in your mind,they’re emotions on your face, they’re footprints on your heart, and their smile radiates on your face”

“There is no shame in expressing your emotions to things which are inexistent. Whether, inanimate objects or angels which you have lost. Any expression is positive, if it brings you relief and satisfaction”

“I often stare at the clouds, and wonder what’s beyond them”

“Education is an opportunity to develop yourself into what you were made to do, your hopes and dreams depend on it. It’s potential is significant”

“If I say something, would you believe me? If I cared about you, would you believe me? If I expressed an emotion, would you believe me? Will you ever believe me?”

“What you don’t understand, I won’t amend. What you want from me, I will not pretend. You will not view me as something else, I will not be subjected to yourself”

“What we shall never know, will not be proved”

“Do our emotions alter circumstances? Only if the person has the ability to recognise genuine sorrow”

“Grieving is the belief that one day we’ll meet again, and the emotion which I shed, is simply a yearning for this day”

“We cannot comprehend pain, until someone who we love is in the position”

“Justifications for our actions are irrelevant, when the outcome we foresaw was probable”

An educated guess of deterioration

I suppose our school has ‘deteriorated’ in a sense, due to our Ofsted inspection, which reflected our school in a negative light…

Recently we have had an Ofsted inspection, the type in which teachers become stressed, frightened and not quite themselves. I have sympathy towards teachers around this time, due to the sharp eye that Ofsted have, not only do they watch and observe, they also read between the lines, and scrutinise all faults.

I respect Ofsted, as they are given an unbiased perception of what schools are like, by categorising them into level of excellence: outstanding, good, satisfactory, improvement and special measures. Ofsted are important as they give reports of aspects of the school which people may take interest in, such as intake: parents who are contemplating whether or not to send their child to a certain school, may refer to Ofsted to hope for an accurate account of the school itself.

Sadly, in assembly the Head teacher delivered news on Ofsted, which I think was due to the behaviour of some children in our school – as did the Head teacher (I suppose this is quite evident due to the behaviour I have witnessed around the school), that our Ofsted inspection resulted to being categorised in ‘special measures’, however our school is not a ‘typical’ special measures school as we are not wholly negative, however there is room for improvement with support. The ‘lower’ part of the school received a bad report, however Sixth Form (which I am in) received a good report. Most teachers teach both 9, 10 and 11 years and Sixth form: 12 and 13, so it can’t solely be the teachers? The pupils have had a significant impact on the news.

I sympathise with the teachers, as I could tell during the days in which Ofsted were inspecting, they were all under a lot of pressure to deliver the best they could; in my honest opinion, I believe the level of education in our school is good, I do not regret in the slightest going to my school, the teachers are supportive and the library is resourceful. Our GCSE results reflect my opinion, our school reached the best in the county, shown in the statistic of 85% of people receiving A*-C level. I am failing to understand, why then, have received a negative Ofsted report, to me, it’s not the teaching, it must be other aspects of the school? Perhaps, behaviour or facilities? Who knows, the Ofsted report is pending release…

Quotations which I love…

I love quotations, due to their inspiration, and they way I think and look at the world, and in most cases not the world, but life.

A description of a snow globe: “The two of us watched the snow fall gently around the penguin. The penguin was alone in there, I thought, and I worried for him. When I told my father this, he said, “Don’t worry, Susie, he has a nice life. He’s trapped in a perfect world.” ~ The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold. Describing the imperfections of this world, and how if we were enclosed, we wouldn’t be vulnerable, we’d be safe ‘wrapped in cotton wool’ as they say, therefore this illusion of a world in a snow globe is perfect.

“But if it’s a story, even in my head, I must be telling it to someone. You don’t tell a story only to yourself. There’s always someone else. Even when there is no one” ~ The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood. They’ll always be someone who will listen to you, even though you may feel alone… The world is endless.

“I believe in everything until it's disproved. So I believe in fairies, the myths, dragons. It all exists, even if it's in your mind. Who's to say that dreams and nightmares aren't as real as the here and now?” ~ John Lennon. Nothing can distort or change your beliefs, you control your own mind, and what you believe is true, it’s what’s clear and accepted in your own mind. Our minds are vacuums of endless thoughts, dreams and intellect.

“Reality leaves a lot to the imagination” ~ John Lennon. What we perceive as real, makes us wonder in our own minds what could be real, what reality could evolve into. Reality is what shapes our creativity within our mind.

“I think , therefore I am” ~ René Descartes. I think, therefore I exist, our knowledge enables us to prosper.

“The words printed here are concepts. You must go through the experiences” ~ Saint Augustine. Don’t believe what you read, you must witness these things for yourself – explore discoveries, thus experience the unknown.

“Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught” ~ Oscar Wilde. What you learn yourself through your life experiences, are essential, they are enriched with knowledge and intelligence. What you are taught is none other than a pass along of what another has discovered, every fact in education starts with a discovery of an individual.

I have other quotations which inspire me, however I will not continue, otherwise this blog post will be endless…