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It's upsetting to see how many people believe they're inadequate compared to the beauty magazines... I'm not sure who they're comparing to, as it is all make believe and fantasy. A click of a few buttons, adjustment of lighting... Et viola, they have created what they believe is 'perfect'. It is far from perfect... They have achieved a skeletal unrealistic look... What has happened to being who you are and the individual body image? Technology now is a device to generate models into copy cats of the next. To think there are naive young girls aspiring to fake figures, it is truly unbelievable...

Growing up too fast!

Recently, I have turned seventeen and inside I remain to feel like the vulnerable, shy, quiet little girl who began in Year 9... Who's mind would constantly ponder at the thought of where my next class would be in order to prevent getting lost and turning up late to lessons. My mind is still in the mindset of who I was 4 years ago... Perhaps it is because I dislike the thought of growing up: accepting all responsibility, leaving Upper School and my family and friends to hopefully attend a good University. Leaving everything which was once a comfort to me - all things familiar. However ludicrous this may sound... I wish this world could stop or rewind, just to relive moments when life was easier and had no worries, where colouring in would be my idea of novelty. Now, my idea of novelty is being free from the strains and stresses of sixth form, whether it is listening to music, listening to a friend or family member, or perhaps the sound of peace. I honestly never want to grow up... Life is too fast, yet too short. In a way, I am curious for the future: who I'll be, who I will meet in terms of friends and perhaps a boyfriend or husband. Whether I'll be in a career I'll love, whether I'll live somewhere I'll feel safe, and whether everything in education has paid of. I shall soon find out... Adulthood is quickly approaching...

Choices...

Yesterday along with Year 12 I attended the University Fair, which had stalls of Universities promoting their courses, facilities etcetera. They gave away prospectuses along with pens, bags and leaflets. It was quite daunting being in a position where the largest choice of my life I believe is rapidly approaching and I can't divert from it. It will come, whether I'm prepared or not. The choice of choosing a degree... Options in the degree... The Unicersity... Tenancy... Ultimately my career path. A path which determines my future satisfaction and feeling that I have done my absolute best... This is what I desire most. I am passionate about studying English Literature, as ever since the beginning of Year 10 I have loved English whether it is reading, researching and critically analysing a text. I enjoy exploring the meaning behind texts and most of all giving my own literary interpretation. What I wish and hope for the most is that I do well in all my alevels so I can consider a diverse range of good universities which I have the hope of developing my love for English in. At the moment, doing well in my alevels seems impossible, well, I believe it is due to how hard my alevels have proved to be: English Literature, Law, History and Philosophy and Ethics. Good luck to everybody who is going to University this year, and to all those who like me are considering various universities and getting prepared for the AS exams!

The world…

It seems to be that the world is materialistic rather than looking beneath the surface and viewing what really matters. The physical appearance of the world reflects the people in it and the attitudes of most… The protruding skyscrapers from what had once been a peaceful, unmaterialistic settlement. Perhaps the radical development in technology has had a profound impact, if it has, then I wouldn’t like to view the world in many years to come. It seems that things which were once viewed as ‘ordinary’ have become ‘extraordinary’… Flashing neon lights, metal birds as planes and buildings which look distorted.

It seems to be that people are careless when it comes to their own satisfaction, they’d prefer to aspire to careers which pay the ‘most’ when their happiness has to pay the price. To me, it is pure greediness when individuals aim for a career which they have absolutely no interest in at all, the only interest they’ll be gaining is in the bank. The mansion, the garage door key revealing sports cars, the false expression and thought in their mind that they’ve reached their goal. None of this is true happiness, it is their way of fitting in with the money endorsing world around us.

Unfortunately, this world has evolved into an artificial realm where people struggle to find their place, where being overweight isn’t ‘normal’, where small houses won’t do, where speaking incorrectly means you’re not good enough, where grades class your intelligence. It’s tedious and unfair… This world wasn’t created for a materialistic development: it’s for individuality and room for development in a unmaterialistic way. People shouldn’t have to change their ways to ‘fit in’, people should be a weight in which they feel comfortable in, big houses leave empty spaces, speech is how we express ourselves and grades reflect our worry in exams… Will anything ever catch up with our growing world?

My hope…

It feels as though it was only a day ago when I wrote a blog post about starting Sixth Form and the worries I’d have to face. Now, however, the worries have become a reality, a reality which I never thought would approach so quickly. It’s literally a month before the AS exams: the exams which will determine what university I’ll aim for, as we have to apparently write our personal statements this year. If I don’t achieve good grades in AS I am limiting myself when it comes to choosing universities… Most good universities now have entry requirements of AAA or AAB. Due to how hard my A levels are, I doubt highly I’ll achieve such grades in A2.

I have been revising Philosophy today… Deep down, I know I know the information, however I feel as though I can’t retrieve the information… But it must be somewhere. Hopefully, when it comes to the actual exams, my adrenaline will kick in.

My hope, more than anything right now, is that I do well in my AS exams. People always say ‘you can only do your best’, ‘try your best’, ‘your best is all they can ask for’, however to me, when it comes down to universities they have entry requirements which must be met. They are hardly flexible, therefore I feel obliged to do more than my best. I just hope it’s good enough.

Good luck to all those doing their A level exams this year, whether ASs or A2s, and to all those who are going to University! You will all do great, keep believing!