Is this my life?

My life, is this it...

Me, myself sometimes look out of the window at the sky or in the mirror at myself and ask myself "is this my life?" not in the sense that I am ungrateful for life, but the way my life has happened so fast, I am now sixteen, where have those sixteen years gone? Where has my 'childhood' gone when I found colouring books a novelty and grazing my knee an every day thing, but now it's getting to a stage of responsibility, a stage where if I graze my knee I would have a hypochondriac thought - 'what if it gets infected? And I have to get amputated' or something preposterous as that.

And this responsibility, this 'growing up' and 'adolescence' is scaring me, it's hard for me to sometimes understand. I remember that day when I was ten years old and I would look at 'adults' and wish I could be older, have more responsibility, and more 'maturity' and less of the 'childish' ways of colouring books and playing hop scotch on the school playground... I wanted to be older, wanted to be at the stage that I am currently at - even though this is not 'adulthood', this is still approaching close by. I don't want to reach that stage anymore, I want to live in the Peter Pan world of 'Neverland', how ridiculous it sounds I would do anything to stay young, stay out of responsibility: no bills, no worries... Just living, free, without a care.

I suppose we are all curious and scared about approaching our futures, as really we have no guarantee of the upcoming events of our lives, instead we have an illusion to what we want to be - an aspiration, and some of us are very certain that we will reach 'our goals'... But we don't know that, there is no chance of knowing, as life has no guarantee, does it?